In a [humanities] class, we were analyzing “oriental” paintings, and several students remarked that the people in the paintings didn’t “look Arab” because they had a lighter skin tone, lighter hair, or lighter eyes. My teacher did not correct them and explain that Arabs come in all shades and sizes. This made me uncomfortable because I myself have been told I don’t “look Arab”. What is an Arab supposed to look like according to them?
Month: August 2020
Not being queer enough
A few of my fellow interns were talking about going to Pride together. I was questioning my identity (I know now that I’m bi), and I was dating a man at the time. When I asked about their plans, they said I couldn’t go and that’s what I get for being straight. It was a joke, but there was just enough bite to it that I felt ashamed of myself for not being queer enough.
“Smarter than I look”
I was a freshman who took a popular course with 100+ other students, who were split up into various sub-sections. I (a sometimes white-passing POC woman) spoke up often to answer questions or give opinions on how the class was going. The lead professor would sometimes talk about me in meetings with the TAs (other students at Davidson who has little/no social remove from the students). Lead professor would wonder aloud if I was “really as smart as people thought” (not a direct quote but a rephrasing). This ended up trickling down into social settings where, for example, one TA told his fraternity brother, who was a friend of mine, that I was “smarter than [I] looked.” Female/international TAs ended up telling me about how the lead professor spoke about me, and even though I’ve continued having a relationship with this professor, it was a great introduction to university life.
Singled Out Asian
My freshman year, I went to eat dinner at Sabi with some friends from my hall. As the one Asian at the table, I was singled out and targeted with the classic stereotype jokes: squinted eyes while mockingly imitating an Asian language, claiming that I eat cats and dogs, asked if I could read the menu in Chinese. The two people who didn’t join in as this continued throughout the meal simply sat by and smiled as if this was fine. When I asked how they’d feel if I was making racist jokes to them, their smiles dropped and they sheepishly said that they wouldn’t care, daring me to make one. FYI: trauma shouldn’t be a competition and it takes literally no effort to not be racist. Just because you are my friend does not mean I will not take offense to it. And just because you are also POC who experience racism in your lives does not justify passing on that treatment to someone else. I’m wondering, when will this type of treatment NOT be ok? When someone bucks their teeth and slants their eyes but shoves me against a wall while doing it? When someone spits at me and calls me a c***k? Please let me know.
