Most Guys

I was talking to a friend of mine about a time where an upperclassman male student said he wanted to go a meeting where a lot of freshman girls would be so that he could scout out which ones he can hookup with. It was predatory and disgusting, it brought back feelings of times I had been vulnerable and preyed on by men. My friend said that “it’s not like most guys at Davidson are like that”. When my friend said this it felt like he was trying to erase every time that I’ve been made to feel violated and unsafe on campus because “it can’t be that bad, most men here aren’t like this”. What bothers me as well is at the time I just agreed with him, I thought he was probably right and that I was making a big deal out of nothing. He hasn’t lived my experiences and he probably genuinely thought that most men here aren’t like that. If I had validated my voice and told him that that isn’t actually the case, maybe I could have made his understating of the climate on campus more clear. Maybe he wouldn’t say things like that to other women who have felt the same way as me. But I also know that it can be difficult to speak up for yourself when you start to feel invalidated.