Ex-Girlfriend

During my visits to the Davidson Student Counseling Center, I have brought up my ex-girlfriend, who happens to be trans. Because I started dating her before she came out as a trans woman, all three of the counselors I have had have either asked what her deadname was, or referred to me as dating her “while she was a man/male.” All five of the six counselors I have seen in the past two years (not all at Davidson) have asked me about my ex-girlfriend’s deadname or used antiquated language when discussing the period of time when my ex-girlfriend was not out as trans. It has made me incredibly uncomfortable to feel pressured to say my ex-girlfriend’s deadname or to be forced to educate my counselor on the appropriate language to use in an extremely vulnerable space of a therapist appointment. I cannot imagine what an actual trans person must go through at the Davidson Counseling Center or with any other therapist who does not understand how to talk about gender dysphoria/dysmorphia and social/physical transitioning in a way that does not cause further trauma.