Research Proposals
I work with students and my colleague assumed I would be “uncomfortable” talking to students about their research proposal around slavery, because I’m black.
“Hard to Understand”
I have watched colleagues around me cut, dye, and style their hair in different ways. When I do it, it becomes a public spectacle and “hard to understand.”
“Sassy”
For months, in meetings or after meetings, I have been told I am “sassy” or “have an attitude.”
Buying People
I was talking to a colleague about recruiting / sales jobs (which are inherently all about persuading others to ‘buy into’ the candidacy of a new hire or product), and my colleague apologized for using language about “buying people,” because of slavery. Since I’m a woman of color.
“The Mean One”
I am the only woman of color in my office, and my manager regularly refers to me as “the mean one.”
“The Box I’ve Put Them in”
I keep anglicizing people’s names if I see them as White. It’s like all White people have to be Anglos, apparently. I’m always really sorry, but I do it periodically, and then they have to forgive me, after knowing that’s how I see them. Like, their real name is unimportant to me because it has to conform to the box I’ve put them in.
Hyper-sexualized
I’m Latina, from Caribbean descent. So that means people see me as a sex object. The hot Latin woman, the Sofia Vergara caricature. Sometimes, I’ll move my body in a way that is perfectly natural for anyone, but people will imitate me as this hyper-sexualized thing, and it’s supposed to be funny. They don’t realize it’s because they are buying into the racism. I get it from people across the spectrum — white people and people of color. But never from other Caribbean people. We just all shake our heads.
They All Have the Same Names
Sometimes I have trouble telling white people apart. And they all have the same names. It’s really hard for me. I’m not sure they notice, though, and if they do I don’t think they know it’s a racial thing. It is.
Stupid and Small
People interrupt me all the time. And when I assert myself, they smile and nod and talk about how I’m a squeaky wheel. When white guys say the same thing, everyone nods and makes a note of the point. It’s annoying on a day to day basis. But it also makes me feel stupid and small.
They Don’t Know Why
When my students turn in their first papers, about a third will use the wrong first name for me. They will use the Spanish version of my English-language first name. They just think that’s my name. Because it just seems righter to them. They don’t know why.
